Monday, February 9, 2015

Because of Him

Dear Family and Friends,
This week was definitely a faith-building week, lots of ups and downs
and everything in between! I just have to say one
grateful for the gospel, and for the peace and comfort it gives to me
in my life!

So, it was kind of a rough week! I have been on this new medicine that
really helps with headaches, but it makes me so dang drowsy. It has
been SO hard to focus on anything;studies, lessons, meetings. I have
been really trying to stay positive, and have a good attitude about
everything. I reached a breaking point, and just felt like giving up.
I felt like there was no solution to my problem, and that I was
useless as a missionary. I just felt so hopeless and like I couldn't
even take one more step. Sister James was just amazing, and helped me
so much. I decided to get a blessing from one of our ward mission
leaders. It was super helpful! His wife struggles with bad headaches,
so it was nice to have her as a temporary mama:) In the blessing he
said, "Heavenly Father knows you, and knows the things you are
struggling with, but he desires that you have faith in him, and his
power to heal you." I was lacking so much faith! And that is the
answer I kept getting.

In ALL the lessons we taught this week, everything came back to faith
in Jesus Christ, and in a moment of weakness, I turned away from him
and didn't allow him or trust him to help me. All the scriptures I
read were about faith, and all our meetings were centered on the
principle of faith. Throughout this whole thing, I have had a lot of
faith. In my moment of weakness and pain, Satan decided to step in and
he really got to me. He worked SO hard on me this week. I can't even
describe to you how incredibly hard and lonely it was. But I know that
he doesn't even stand a chance with Heavenly Father on my side. I
really learned how to rely on Him and allow him to heal me and enable
me to do more that I could. I prayed one night, and I was just crying
to him, and I literally felt his arms wrap around me, and he said, "I
love you, I have got you. I am not going to let anything bad happen,
now just relax, and trust me." It was such an incredible experience! I
am so grateful for the Atonement. Because of him, I have a renewed
hope and I am able to be happy no matter what the circumstances.
Another thing that was said to me in a blessing, was that I needed to
experience this so I could learn how to reach out, serve, and turn
outward, even when I felt like turning inward and being selfish. I
couldn't get through this without him, and that required faith on my
part. I feel so much better, and I am so thankful to my Heavenly
Father. Things are good again, and I can't even express my gratitude.
Miracles truly happen when you trust in the Savior:) #heisthegift

Other than that, things are good! There is a lot of great work
happening here! It has been SO good!

We had a lesson with a bunch of girls on dress and appearance ( We
have been going through the Strength of Youth pamphlet with them) and
it was the funniest thing ever to have these young women go off about
all the boys and their 'saggity' pants and how unattractive it is, and
how when they are out in public with their grandma she embarrassed
them by leaning over and saying, "wow he's got a load in there and
needs to change it!" Seriously I'm pretty sure we  were going to die
we were laughing so hard. then they moved on to how guys don't need
piercings and how some piercings are just really dumb. And we were
just laughing even harder. Needless to say I think we got the point
across by the end. :)

We also this week, while in the Stake center, walked past the young
men having a mutual activity of talking to a guy who just got home 5
weeks ago about his mission and as we passed the door he called out to
us and asked us to share our testimonies about missions, and why we
came on a mission. I always love the unplanned opportunities I have to
share my testimony, it strengthens it everytime

We also had an awesome lesson with Joey this week and taught the plan
of salvation which helped answer those questions, "Why am I here?
Where did I come from? Where am i going?" and he told us of how he had
spent some time once looking at it laid out in a seminary building
while cleaning there and it didn't all make sense so He was grateful
that we were able to help him understand and really apply it to his
life. I love teaching the Gospel!

Book of Mormon class was on Thursday this week and we had a bunch of
people come. We were most excited that one lady came. We have been
trying to get in contact with her for months and we finally were able
to because she just showed up! It ends up she was in jail for a while
and it was a miracle she got out and it has made a huge difference in
her life because she knows she should have gone to prison. So now she
is really ready to make some major changes, and that makes me happy!

After a lesson with the Days we were talking about what we do if there
was a person who came up and was threatening us and how we aren't
supposed to put up a fight and all that and Sister Day just looks at
us and says, "well I can carry so you just call me and I'll come with
my hat backwards and everything and fix who ever is messing with you!"
So funny! Then Brother Day chimes in and says he is going to buy her
one of those Military Police Badges and instead change it to
"Missionary Protector" Love them. Also just yesterday they were able
to receive their Patriarchal Blessings
And they said it was the most amazing thing ever and they know they
are on the right path.I really am so thankful to be here and to help
people gain their own testimonies!

I hope that my experiences can help all of you strengthen your
testimonies! I am so grateful for all your love and support. I love
everyday, and I am so happy to be here. "More happiness awaits you
than you have ever experienced before as you labor among God's
children. Have an amazing week! Happy Valentine's day!
#singleawareness #missionlife #nobodywantsusaround #thestruggleisreal
#sharingGod'slove. :)
Love, Sister Bigelow (soccer mom)

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